Day three of my incarceration begins

Okay, not really incarceration but that sounds aptly dramatic for how I’m feeling. I had a cold last week and, I guess with my immunity down, contracted a stomach bug. The really frustrating and upsetting thing is that my niece and nephew are also sick, and my sister spent the day and night in two emergency rooms with my four month old niece yesterday. I don’t know where it started – did I give it to them or did they give it to me? – but I feel responsible. And I can’t go to work and take a chance of passing it around there so I’m stuck at home again, unable to eat or shop. Perhaps I can sneak into a movie if I don’t speak to anyone or touch anything??

Out of hard times, though, something good must come, yes? I am determined to learn a lesson from this because, at the same time, I still haven’t managed to convince anyone to give me a GM job. I know I can do the work, I know I will be good at it, I also know that my career path and personality are not traditional and probably make people making the hiring decisions hesitant to take a chance on me. It’s not like Joe where I evolved into the role as the business itself evolved, and I kicked ever lovin’ butt thankyouverymuch. These are big companies, big industry, with big monies and big reputations to consider. So, I’ll have to do more to prove myself than I have done. Enough isn’t enough, I need to do more. Today I will take out a few of my weaknesses and take a look at how I can do better.

1. Procrastination. This has always been an issue for me. Why worry about it now when I can work on it later, right? I thrive on stress and deadlines and, let’s face it, my workload over the past few years hasn’t been enough to challenge me. So I save things up. I let tasks slide because it really doesn’t seem to matter if it gets done right now or not. Until it does matter. Until I’m stuck at home without access to my work computer. Until I have to rely on my co-workers to pick up the slack or, more likely, have to let things slide because I can’t get to them. I don’t want to be the best sales person ever because I don’t want to be a sales person, but I also want to have a reputation for being reliable and someone that people can depend on. I’m aware that I have high standards for myself and I can’t be perfect, but I expect myself to be a lot better than I have been.
2. Best intentions. My follow through is for shit. I want to, I have ambitions, I’m in a meeting and I’m all yes I can do this and yes I can do that. Then I leave the meeting and time flies and it becomes no I didn’t do this and no I forgot to do that. I have been working on it and getting much better, though. Until I started getting sick and missing all this stupid work at the worst possible time. I really need to start taking my computer home every night. I need to get shit done. I remember back in the day I always struggled with working too much. Then I took that time off to learn how to not work. And I learned the lesson really, really good. Now I struggle with getting back into that mode of constant work. Would that be a bad thing, though? Before I didn’t have a life outside of work, now I do. What would be so bad about being busy and active all the time? Hmmm. Oh, right, I’m uber lazy.
3. Communication. This actually stemmed from my performance discussion a couple of weeks ago. I think it goes hand in hand with the other two but it’s something I’m really going to have to improve if I’m going to be a good manager. But I’m tired of communicating right now. Good bye and good luck. lol